head heart and soul

My head it hurts.
By brain it aches.
Trying with its might,
No sense it makes.
You stick on a label.
Generic as sin.
But do you take the time to look within?
I hurt,
I feel.
I am more than a project.
No more cocktails and concoctions,
Let my body object.
I want to be free,
From all those restraints.
And simply be me...
No labels,
No constraints.

Never have I ever....

Its a drinking game..truth...
But its an interesting way to get to know people...
You find out things like "never have I ever.....eaten anchovies."
Sometimes its trivial...other times...it is deep..
So...
Never Have I ever...
...been this scared for another person.
...been able to explain what is wrong with me.
...allowed myself to forget who and what I am.
...forgotten who and what made me this type of person.
...wanted a companion this badly.
...felt this lonely in a crowd.
...felt like I was completely excepted by someone.
...felt like I was good enough...

Those are just a few...
I thought I would share...

The other shore...

Why hello over there,
With your long away stare.
Can you read me like a book?
From right to left,
With a single look.
I think I'm doing well,
I don't often get caught in your swell.
But sometimes the wave that you are...
Catches me up,
Sweeps me away,
And lets me think thoughts that are,
Like your stare...
Far..
Far..
Away....

Blahhh

The thoughts in my head,
Will remain unsaid.
I want to stop trying.
I want to stop crying.
I wasnt made for this,
I'm not wired that way.
Not sure what you want from me,
But direction would be lovely.

sick and tired of being sick and tired

I really wonder what you think i am?
Do you really think im that stupid?
I have had this ridiculous crush since last semester.
It hasnt gone away.
It wont.
Im not that stupid.
I can see things I know things.
Do you really think it matters to me?
Things change with you constantly.
I dont know what you want from me.
But if you cant be honest?
Well i dont know then.
I dont change. this is me. like it or get over it.
Just because im good at masking my emotions, feelings and desires....

Forget it.

No one reads this thing.
No one cares.
Duh, thats how my life is.
I'm at the bottom.
In the pit.
Thats all and it.
I hate complaining and caring.
So bye.

Pennsylvania=]

This place is the place I was born.
In the winter it look "dead" to most people.
But they don't stay around long enough for it to be born again.
It is a beautifaul place, even in the middle of december.
There are more things here than one can remember.
Call it backwoods,
Call it hick,
Call it redneck, or whatever you pick.
But hang around here for long enough,
You'll see.
That PA isn't such a nasty place to be. =]

Getting to know me

I am a burden,
I am a fright.
There is no one I will fight.
I want you  to see.
I want you to know.
How can I show the world.
This girl that most people see,
That is not the real me.
I am a perplex paradox...
I am a walking contradition,
The signs point to fail,
But signs don't prevail.
The world is going to know,
That little girl is someone they should get to know.